Follow Through

It is hard parenting a 2 year old. They have a mind of their own, and they want to use it. They always want to push boundaries. They want to do things on their own, and they do not want your help. They have mood swings. Crazy, wild, unexpected mood swings. One minute they are bouncing along joyfully through life. The next minute that joyful attitude has ceased to exist. There is kicking, screaming, and flailing body parts. How does a parent stay in control?

One thing that Craig and I always try to have through out the day is follow through. If we say we are going to do something, we do it. I think this one constant is an important parenting tool. If you tell your child you are going to do something, then you should do it. "If you get down from the table, then I am going to put your dinner away." "If you help me clean up, then you can watch Vegg.ie Tales before bed." "If you do not sit in your chair, then I will take your goldfish away." "If you do not leave me alone, then I am going to put you in the dog's crate." Oh wait, that last one is one that I only say to myself. I promise this is the first time I have ever said this out loud. Well, maybe the second.

The other day Jackson had his fireman's hat on, it was a free hat that we got when we went to Fire.House Subs weeks ago. When he sees the hat, he wants to wear it. Otherwise, it is out of sight out of mind.

I was in the bathroom, a place that Jackson loves to be when you are looking for some alone time. He dropped the hat on the floor, and wanted to wash his hands. When we were done washing our hands, he walked into the hall, past his hat, and into the kitchen area. I told him to come back and pick up his hat, it is not my responsibility to clean up his mess. Now we all know that as a parent of a toddler you are doing all the cleaning. But, I like to pretend that Jackson is old enough and responsible enough to clean up after himself.

I'll let you have a good laugh over that one.

Are you done?

Good. Let's continue.

Being 2, Jackson was now distracted by something else. He was not listening to me, or to Craig. So I told him, if he did not come pick up his hat it would be going in the trash. Again, nothing. No response. Not even a look in my direction.

I picked up the hat and put it on the counter, so I could throw it away later. Craig reminded me that if Jackson saw me put the hat in the trash, he would pull it out. So, on the counter it sat for the rest of the evening. Jackson did not even notice, nor did he care that his fireman's hat was gone.

The next morning I went downstairs before the boys and I saw the hat on the counter. I instinctively reached for it to take it into the living room. Then I remembered what I had told Jackson. I stood there, with the hat in my hands, debating whether I should put the hat back on his toy box or throw it in the trash.

I finally chose what I thought was the correct option. Into the trash the hat went.

I really thought giving him the hat back was no big deal. But then, it hit me. If I give Jackson this hat back, what message am I sending him? That I do not mean what I say? Or, that he does not have to listen because I will be there behind him to clean up his messes along the way?

It is small, and it is silly. But I think if I follow through on the small issues, when it really matters I will be able to follow through on the big ones.